I started to blog on Friday, December 23, 2005

Hi. I am back after 3 years plus. My last post was on Saturday, June 02, 2007, I am Titanic! He already found his right one and I am still single. Don't pity me as I am not even felt pity for myself. I am still lost in my life. I don't know what I want and what to achieve. I live so lifeless and meaningless. I just know I need to work, earn my living for myself and family. Then, deep in my heart, I am lost! Honestly, I kinda hate my life because I live meaningless. I thought I found a new direction but actually I was wrong. People still pressuring and looking down at me! I chose to become where I am, that's is my choice. Can't you all just accept what I am and what I'm doing now? Don't you know what is call respect and support?! You all never do that, that's really cruel to me!

I am Titanic!

Date: 2 June 2007
Day : Saturday
Time: 5pm-6pm
Venue: One U (New Wings)
I dropped my hints to him. He got it! He said "Take my time off ; No sparks between us ; Don't want to waste my time." I got what he meant. I was hurt but i do thanks him for being honest with me. It started at Vietnam Kitchen for lunch (1st movie: Rob B Hood) and end at the same restaurant (Shrek 3). My journey to my Prince Charming ended today at One U. He said "Treasure our friendship".Me too! I hope you remember what you said today, we are still friends. I hope we are!
Friends: Thanks LH and YS being thr to listen to my sadness and my cries.

She answered my Qs

Junnie (http://www.lvmarciano.com/blog/junie/) one of my favourite blogger's article. She was facing the same situation with me and she answered same way as what i always do! Thanks Junnie! I like your blog!

When?

A friend asked me the ultimate question.

“How come you haven’t hooked up with someone yet?”

So I went like, “Why must I?”

And he said, “because its about time to do so? What are you waiting for? Still waiting for a certain someone to come back?”

omfgwtfbbq.

Eh, I’m not dating anyone doesn’t mean I’m still waiting for a certain expired person to come back to me, okay.

Is there a timing somewhere for someone to date another person after a break up? So less than how-many-months is not okay, more than how-many-months is okay?

So I must count the months or years to date the next person, is it?

The other ironic thing is, sometimes I happen to talk to friends whom I haven’t been chatting with for a long time. At one point of time, this other friend asked me, “so you’re still with that guy?” And I happened to find someone else just about that time, so I answered, “no”.

And she continued asking, “So you met someone new?” And I said, “yes”.
Guess what’s the next thing she said?

“WAH! SO FAST???? So does your ex know? He must be feeling damn down.”
Whoa, so I must wait until my hair grow white then only can date another person? Or wait for my ex to start dating only I can date is it?

I guess sooner or later someone is going to date someone else first, isn’t it? The second you break up, you know its going to happen, right? You’d also be expecting that your ex might date someone else the very next day, right?
Sounds cruel doesn’t it? But hey, that’s life. I’d rather he find someone else and be happy, than sitting around pinning for me. It goes both ways. I’d rather find someone else to be happy with, than be sickeningly lonely wondering what went wrong.

Yes, if I happen to find out, I might feel a little bitter thinking back those memories that we had, all those diabetically sweet words that he said to me like as if I was the one.

There’s no need to hide anything from your ex. There’s also no need to deny anything that happens to be true. I feel its extremely stupid to keep these stuffs in the dark because at the end of the day, when the person finds out, its going to hurt even more.

I don’t hold grudges towards any ex-es, nor their current girlfriends. I don’t do u-turns, cos if you’d hurt me, you will never be able to mend that scar that you’ve done; and if I’d hurt you, I’ll never be able to get over the guilty in me. And if things didn’t work out at the first place, what makes you think its going to make any difference the second time around?

I prefer to expect for the worst to happen first. Just so that if it happens to be true, I can face the truth with minimal pain. That’s probably why I happen to be a paranoid person, insecure and doubt things all the time.

I’ve fallen hard. A painful one, some years ago; because I believed too much in those diabetical sweet words. I’ll never let myself fall that hard again. Even so, I’ve let myself fell too deep the last time around.

The advantage of working 7 days a week is that it doesn’t leave you much time to think about nonsense like this. I don’t have the time to go and bother who goes out with who, who is with who, who is going after who, or which ex is with which girl. I don’t have the time to go find out, and eventually, I can’t be bothered anymore.

I’m happy with my life now, thank you very much. Please don’t come and bother me with these kinda questions anymore. It’s been long since I’ve enjoyed singlehood. I don’t wanna regret.
But of course, occasional dates are different.

Forum Invitation

Greetings from Blu Inc Media Sdn Bhd

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I have received this invitation by BluInc for the forum. Too bad it was postpond at the very last minutes. I got an email like this:

Hi Everyone,

We would like to postpone the focus group session(10/4/07 & 12/4/07)due tothe lack of respond from the reader.We will keep you inform inform the date of session take place in future.Thank you very much in particpating in this event.

Best Regards
BluInc

Shocking News

Today i had lunch with my ex-bf, kf. He told me a shocking news---he was forced to leave the company due to his performance. I was shocked! I knew he was not happy in that company. He is facing a lots of problems basically is the PR problems. He was trying his best but seems like many people don't like him . The boss don't trust, keep checking on him. Many problems and hard time he is going through. I found out all these from him through our lunch session a month ago. I have lost contact with him fo a while, because of his current gf. She don't him to contact with others girl. Lagi worst is that i was his ex-gf. She just don't have self-confidence & don't trust him! Actuall we were having this "secretive" lunch. Our story already past, 7 yrs ago. Now we just good friends. Somehow, i am comfortable to share my problems with him. He is a great listener but not an good advisor. He has many his own theories & sometimes i'll just ignore his advise. Hahaha, i am bad, i know that! He just told by the boss on Tuesday, asked him to leave the company. After his discussion with the boss, finally the boss agree to allow him to put in his resignation letter. This way is sooooo much better for his future. Now he has to look for a new job. I know with his qualifications & working experiences, he has no problems to get a job. Good luck, buddy!

JL's Birthday Celebration

Yesterday was JL's 26th birthday. We actually planned something for her. Nothing really special just a movie, dinner & drinking at Ice Bar. I wanted to go for karaoke but they all don'y want. K was in KL last weekend. So he as the only guy attending the celebration, so he automatically be the driver. We watched Shooter but i found it was so boring. They are said good! I wanted to watch Perfume: The story of a killer but they all don't want. We had a great time yesterday.

Just finish my report and sent to my bos. I have been delaying it for almost a week. Just got it done half an our ago. Kind of tire cuz yesterday back home from Ice Bar around 2am. After mandi and all , finally slept at around 3am. I need more sleep!

Had Genki sushi on Friday for dinner @ Sunway Pyramid, Paddington House of Pancake @ One U on Saturday & today at Oversea Restaurant for a family dinner. Hahaha, i have been eating alots of good & delicious food for the past 3 days. I hope i can pu on some weight. Too many said that i am too skinny, i need to put on some weight to look better (pretty)! Ok, i finally agreed with what they said. Now i am in the process to put on weight. No more apples for lunch and i'll go for proper lunch! :)

Girlfriend

AVRIL LAVIGNE LYRICS

~Girlfriend ~

Hey! Hey! You! You!I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!I know that you like me

No way! No way!No it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fineI want you mineYou're so delicious

I think about ya all the timeYou're so addictive

Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious

And Hell YeahI'm the motherfucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

She's like so whateverYou could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!I know that you like me

No way! No way!No it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me

And even when you look away I know you think of me

I know you talk about me all the time again and again

So come over here, tell me what I want to hear

Better yet make your girlfriend disappear

I don't want to hear you say her name ever again

(And again and again and again!)

She's like so whateverYou could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!I know that you like me

No way! No way!No it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!I want to be your girlfriend

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

Cause I can, cause I can do it better

There's no otherSo when's it gonna sink in?

She's so stupidWhat the hell were you thinking?!

I really like this song! I want to dedicate this song to y2k. But what he is different from the song above is that he has no gf! Just i want to be his gf!

I am Sick!

Waking up this morning with a slight fever. My whole body felt warm and had a terrible headache. I made a decision for not going to uni. Sent a sms to my V and replied another sms to K. K sent me a sms yersterday morning but i was late for class so i didn't reply to him. Actually just a very simple sms and i really don't know what should i type to reply. So i just didn't reply. From what he has sent me, he sound not too happy for not getting my reply. I smsed him said that i am not feeling well this morning and got a reply from him immediately. As usual will asking me how am i and blahblah. I was feeling really sick plus i am really lazy to type message, i gave him a call. He asked me to put down my phone and he called back to me. He knows i am a "poor" student and couldn't affoed to spend too much $$ on phone call. That's why usually my working friends will call me back. Hahaha! He is coming to KL today.He will departed frm Ipoh at about 3pm and should be reaching KL about 6pm. I don't think i can join him for "yam cha" tonight.

When i am sick, i miss him more. It has been almost a week we don't contact each other. Luckily i still can know about him through J, his younger brother. I knew he was in Penang last weekends for club activities then rushed back on Sunday for attending his aunt 80th Birthday Dinner. I knew he was late to work on Monday morning. I really feel like sms him but i am scare. I really don't know what to type. I don't know how to start a sms to him. I miss him!

I went to Qing ming last Sunday with dad & mum. Then we met up with Aunty Bee & counsins LP & MK there. Sis L suppose to follow us there but she was just too tired and had allergy after her Redang trip. She came back on Saturday night. I knoe grandpa & grandma will forgive her wan. Sis L attended an interview for the post of Management Trainee in Bangi Baru yesterday. Their offer is ok but she said have to wait for the 2nd interview. But it is far from our home. Must have car if she really want to take up the offer.

Now i have no more fever but still have headache. I suppose to analyse my data and i still owe I a progress report. I really have no mood to do all these.

The internet connection is damn so slow. I can't even login to MSN Messenger. TM net really suc*s!

难道我真的要放弃吗？

From one of my good friend on MSN, he said this lyrics really suit my current feeling:

听不清 喝彩声音 只有你的眼泪像海浪回荡在我心底
看身边 茫茫人群 究竟谁对我还有意义
一直不能忘记 我的勇气曾失落在这里裡
如今我找回自己 却又失去最深爱的你 在风中远离
我绝不放弃 永远爱你 时间 空间 挡不住不灭的情谊
你值得我用一生追寻 Woo
我绝不放弃 永远爱你 现实命运推不动思念的坚定
你是我最依赖的抚慰 我绝不放棄

He said i don't have to know from which singer, the important is to know and understand the meaning. It's suited me so well, for now!

y2k, can you tell me how am i suppose to do? To give up on you or be patient and give you more time and chances???I am lost! I am not happy because of you. You have made myself so miserable, so lost. Should i wait? I gave many chances and i tried to be patient to you but what i got from return is nothing. You have hurt me but you don't know. This whole week, i just keep myself busy with my work so i don't have time to think of you. But i actually not happy. Do you know? I know you were there when i chat with Pinky. You just sat next to her playing Dota games. I know i was you, used chicken little's msn account to go on msn. I sent a message to you and you just ignored it. Why? Am i a scary person? Am i annoy you? Are you trying to avoid me? Why you want to do this to me? It's just hurt, like ChristinaAguilera-Hurt:

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.

You told me how proud you were but I walked away.

If I only I knew what I know today, ohhhh.

I would hold you in my arms.

I would take the pain away.

Thank you for all you've done.

Forgive all your mistakes.

There's nothing I wouldn't do.

To hear your voice again.

Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there.

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you.

For everything I just couldn't do.

And I've hurt myself by hurting you.

Some days I feel broke inside, but I won't admit.

Sometimes I just wanna hide cuz it's you I miss.

You know it's so hard to say good-bye when it comes to this, ohhhh yeah.

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do.

To have just one more chance.

To look into your eyes and see you looking back.

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you.

For everything I just couldn't do.

And I've hurt myself, oh...

If I had just one more day.

I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away.

Oh, It's dangerous.

It's so out of line to try and turn back time.

I'm sorry for blaming you.

For everything I just couldn't do.

And I've hurt myself....by hurting you.

This is the last sentence LH typed in MSN for tonight's chat:

早一点脱离悲伤的那个人,
才能够早一点认清,

不管遇到了什么关卡,

人最不能放弃的,

不是那个已不再爱你的他/她......

Thanks LH, thanks for being my good listener & adviser. Thanks for everything.

我终于那用中文Blog 了！

我总算可以用MSN些BLOG了！Finally i can! 一直以来我都很想用中文打部落格，现在终于实现了！开始使用真的有点慢，但是还好。：）今天晚上我真的很高兴，非常的高兴！YadaYada!

At Last Im in the Mood

Finally i am in the mood of writing. Thank God, I have the mood now! I was at home yesterday. I typed about 8 pages. Is not easy to start but once it started, then you memang have the semangat to carry on. Sms and phone calls coming in also i don't feel like "layan". That is me, when i am really into something (busy with something) i memang don't care for the surrounded response. Hahaha....I am like that one! today add anothr 3 pages. Good, at least i have a good start and a good progress! Norahs, you should keep it up! Tomorrow again i am not going to uni, boss is in KK and she only will be backrthis Sunday. So as usual i "curi tulang" lor, not exactly "curi tulang" lar. Just that i can't do my writing in uni and i prefer to do the writing at home. All my papers and informations are at home. House in my room is always the most comfortable place to do my stuff. :)

He really dunno ......

I just found out that he don't know my birthday! Through MSN. I have been waiting and waiting for him to call or message me. But he didn't, not because he forgot but he didn't know about it.

Beanie Baer born on 1st March (Part 3)

This is another beanie shared the same birthday date with me. His name is Minneapolis the Bear. The poem is like this:

Come to Minneapolis you'll want to stay

Such beautiful nature on display

Museums, theaters and music, too

The City of Lakes invites you !

Beanie Bear Born on 1st March (Part 2) My favourite

Ewey the Lamb. This is my favourite. It also has a poem:

Needles and yarn, Ewey loves to knit

Making sweaters with perfect fit

Happy to make one for you and me

Showing off hers, for all to see!

Beanie Bear born on 1st March (Part 1)

Hello. My name is Daffodil the Bear from Ty Beanie Babies family.

This bear shared the same birthday date with me and it has a poem like this:

You will find me on the hills

Gathering up daffodils

I will sing my country's song

Every day and all night long!

Tian Hou Temple, KL

This are some photos i took during my visit to Tian Hou Temple with my family during Chinese New Year.

[Last]

[ Last ] letter of ur name?
** s

[ Last ] thing you ate?
** yong tau fu

[ Last ] thing u drank?
** water

[ Last ] song you listened to?
** My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words

[ Last ] movie you watched?
** Death Note 2 - The Last Name

[ Last ] TV show you watched?
** Astro Channel 30 Hong kong drama

[ Last ] time you cleaned your room?
** this noon

[ Last ] CD/Cassette you bought?
** few years ago

[ Last ] travel?
** Seksyen 14

[ Last ] time you cried?
** 3 months ago

[ Last ] person who you chatted online
** UM Beyonce

[ Last ] website you browsed?
** District 3300 official website

[ Last ] time you shopped?
** last weekend

[ Last ] person you hangout with?
** cf & Tracy

[ Last ] person u were thinking of?
** yyk

[ Last ] time u felt sick?
** can't really remember

[ Last ] person u chatted on the phone
** brother

[ Last ] place you went to?
** Secret recipe @ Seksyen 14

Fake Friends

I am sure all of us have fake friends around us. We have met them since we were young and i am sure until we are getting old, still have these friend around.

I copied this from my Friendster:

No offence but... people aregettingtoo fake in here. They only want piccomments, testimonials or to see howmany friends they can get. So let'ssee who will actually repost this.This is a test to see how many peoplein my friends list are payingattention to me. Copy and repost inyour own bulletin if you are a friendand don't reply. Just copy and pastethis in a new bulletin with thesubject "Fake Friends"

Si Benci

Si Benci! Why you said our we think "CHEAP"?
Why you never appreciate our hardwork?
We just don't like the way you do things!
You said you'll do but you didn't!
People offer to help, you turned it down.
But when you couldn't do, you just throw it back to us.
How could you do this???
We are in a team, we are working together!
but you never treat us as your collegue.
When we are not talk about work, just hanging out or doing shopping, you are oK!
Perhaps a sweet person!
But when it come to work, you are totally different!
I am respect you as a leader in our team, i hope you do respect us as your teammates! k!

I'm on leave

Why?
Am i sick?
Nope! Just want to stay at home doing my work!
What work? Data analysis.
*sigh* I have been spending the whole afternoon doing that but the progress was so slow. Outcome was so little.
I started to worry, worry about my work, my write-up.
The afternoon was so hot & i was feeling so sleepy. But i couldn't sleep, must stay awake at least to complete some part of my data!
Norahs, wake up!